We all have the choice to live our lives distracted and not really participating at a deeper level. With awareness, you have a significant choice, an opportunity to place your attention on finding and building the sweet spot for your life. Your personal freedom and the courage to have a fulfilling life is serious business. The goals, passions, values, and decisions that you choose to commit to are the bedrock of well-being and living a full life. For many of us, the level of commitment we make in our lives can be nuanced with fits and starts. For some, it can take an illness, death, or another major life event to wake up and participate in their lives.

For me, the death of my friend Stefanie forced me to reevaluate my own life and reflect on how she was an example of what it means to commit to life. She packed a whole lot of life into her 51 years. She gave personal transformation talks to anyone who had lost their way, sponsored many individuals in recovery, gave inspirational talks at San Quentin Prison and performed at benefits. She was committed to her values and joyfully pursued her passions and musical talent, with plans to launch her third CD and perform at a release party. Then she was gone..

My friend’s death shook me.

Stefanie Keys

“Reality is Clarifying” – Kristen Hamilton

My dear friend’s passing jolted me with the realization that I hadn’t been committed to my life as much as I thought. With profound awareness, I recognized my own mortality, and more importantly, that I lived in a snow globe. I had kept myself in a holding pattern — a fuzzy mental malaise — which acted as a security blanket. I had a broad idea of what I wanted to achieve, but hadn’t come up with an active plan to take the actions that were necessary to get there. All became apparent to me the day after Stef died. When I found out she died, a part of me woke up and an inner voice said: This is no joke, put a stake in the ground and commit to life. On the day Stefanie died, the trauma, sober pain, loss, and anger was so great it somehow extinguished my pattern of taking my life for granted. No longer would I waste my life’s currency on perfectionism, ego, pride, and worrying about the judgment of others. No longer would I waste time imagining that responsibility and stress would impede my success.

With strengthened clarity and resolve, I simplified my life. I purposefully removed the inner and outer obstacles that clouded my business and creative pursuits. I took risks and made decisions without surety of outcome. I added shape to my life. I moved across the country with the confidence of total heart, mind, body, soul, and wallet investment, remembering a favorite quote: